


Forever is an awfully long time

by notallballs (notallbees)



Series: The river always finds the sea [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Established Relationship, Implied Sexual Content, Intimacy, M/M, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-22
Packaged: 2019-01-04 01:59:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12159285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notallbees/pseuds/notallballs
Summary: Kageyama isn't romantic, at least not in the way most other people would define it. He doesn't buy flowers, or remember anniversaries, and his ideal date would probably involve volleyball in some shape or form.It's just as well that Koushi isn't especially romantic either.Koushi confesses something, and Tobio asks a question.





	Forever is an awfully long time

**Author's Note:**

> Written for day 2 of [kagesugaweek](http://kagesugaweek.tumblr.com/) \- promise/proposal. I've been meaning to write something else in this verse for at least a year. This wasn't really what I planned on, but it'll do :D

Kageyama isn't romantic, at least not in the way most other people would define it. He doesn't buy flowers, or remember anniversaries, and his ideal date would probably involve volleyball in some shape or form. 

It's just as well that Koushi isn't especially romantic either. 

"Do you remember the first time we met after high school?" Koushi murmurs, running his fingertip along the inside of Kageyama's thigh. They're sprawled together on the bed, the sheets crumpled and messy beneath them, their skin slowly cooling. Kageyama is still wearing his underwear, which he only managed to get halfway off before they got distracted, and he shivers when Koushi's finger pushes beneath the hem, fingers tensing where they rest over Koushi's shoulder. 

"When you came to see my game in England," Kageyama mutters. His voice is low, sleepy, but there's a twinge of curiosity. He runs his fingers through Koushi's hair instead, tracing the shell of his ear with the pad of his thumb. 

Koushi nods, satisfied. He knows Kageyama hasn't forgotten, because Kageyama has confessed more than once that that night was one of the most exciting, most erotic things that had ever happened to him. Kageyama may be terrible at talking to people, but he somehow always seems to know exactly what Koushi needs to hear. 

"Koushi?"

Groaning, Koushi presses his face against Kageyama's stomach and breathes deeply. "Looking back on it," he confesses in a low voice, his voice slightly muffled, "I feel a little bad."

Kageyama's fingers still in his hair. "Why?"

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again after that," Koushi says, moving his arm around Kageyama's waist to pull him closer. "I just—I dunno, I wanted to tease you, to see how far I could push it. I guess I wanted to—seduce you?"

Kageyama huffs, and when Koushi lifts his head, he finds Kageyama smiling at him. "I knew that already," Kageyama says, giving him that look that says he thinks Koushi is being unbearably stupid.

"I still feel bad about it," Koushi grumbles, slumping down against Kageyama's chest again. He presses his cheek against it, skin sticking slightly. 

"You worry too much," Kageyama murmurs, threading his fingers through Koushi's hair again. 

Koushi snorts. "Most people say I don't worry enough."

"I know you better."

"Mm," Koushi hums, and rubs his cheek against Kageyama's hip to try and convey some of the immense warmth and gratitude that flushes through him. It could be partly thanks to the afterglow, but as much as Koushi loves sex with Kageyama, he knows that's not all this is. 

"Hey," Kageyama says, shifting and dislodging Koushi. He looks uncomfortable with whatever he's about to say, his shoulders drawing in. "Whatever you were like before we met, it doesn't matter." He bites his lip, and Koushi is quiet, giving him a chance to finish. "I don't like who I was before I met you," Kageyama admits in a low, gruff voice. "Before Karasuno."

Koushi leans in and touches their foreheads together, bringing his hand up to cup the back of Kageyama's neck. They breathe together slowly for several moments.

"That was a long time ago," Koushi murmurs at length.

Kageyama nods, and kisses him quickly. They move apart and settle back down, facing one another across the pillow, their legs linked together. Koushi feels warm and comfortable, and so, so loved. Even a year ago, he thinks, it would've terrified him how much Kageyama loves him. It would've frightened him even more to know how much he loves Kageyama. 

"So," Kageyama says after a minute, just when Koushi thinks he's fallen asleep. "D'you wanna get married or something?"

For a moment, Koushi just stares back at him. It takes several seconds for what Kageyama has said to process, but when it does, Koushi lets out a startled burst of laughter. Kageyama stares back at him with an impassive look, which only makes Koushi laugh harder. 

"Tobio," he manages between giggles. "Warn me next time, would you?"

Kageyama frowns. "Warn you when I'm going to propose?"

Koushi laughs again. "Yes! What if I'd been eating something, I might have choked."

Kageyama pulls his legs away. "I didn't know you'd laugh," he retorts, sounding slightly put out.

"You're too harsh on yourself," Koushi says, patting Kageyama's chest affectionately. "You know I find you very funny."

"I wasn't joking."

That sets Koushi off into another fit of giggles, but then he catches sight of Kageyama's face. There's not even the hint of a smile. Kageyama may be naturally somewhat taciturn, but one thing he definitely doesn't have is a good poker face. 

"Oh, fuck."

"Yeah." 

"You weren't joking?"

Kageyama shakes his head. 

"Oh, Tobio," Koushi murmurs, shuffling closer again. He reaches out and puts his hand on Kageyama's hip, stroking over his bare skin slowly. Some dark little corner of Koushi's brain has started whirring in alarm, but he tries to shut off the screaming cacophony of panic for long enough to make sure that Kageyama is okay. "Is that—really something you want?"

Kageyama shrugs. 

"I'm sorry for laughing," Koushi says, wincing. 

"It's fine."

"Still," Koushi insists, giving Kageyama's hip a squeeze. "That was really stupid of me. Can we talk about it?"

Kageyama wrinkles his nose. "If you want."

Koushi takes a deep breath. "Tobio—"

"It doesn't matter," Kageyama says suddenly, speaking over him.

"No, Tobio," Koushi says, face crumpling. The sirens in his head are starting to shriek. "Please, I want to talk—"

Kageyama shakes his head. "No, I mean—it doesn't matter to me if we do it or not. I'm happy like this. I'd be happy doing that too—getting married—if you wanted to."

"I know, but—" Koushi begins, and cuts himself off when the words reach his brain. "Wait, really?

"It doesn't matter!" Kageyama repeats, his voice turning into an irritable growl.

"Tobio," Koushi says, half laughing and half exasperation. "I—I don't really know how to deal with this, I can't just pretend you didn't say anything."

Kageyama groans and pulls one of the pillows over his head. "Just forget it." 

Koushi flops onto his back with a sigh. He'd like to do as Kageyama asked, but his brain doesn't work that way. It's out there now, and it'll keep worrying at him until he has a straight answer. He can sense the tension emanating from Kageyama, even though there's just enough space between them that they're not touching anywhere. 

Outside, it's begun to rain heavily, dampening the sounds of the city below. It helps to quiet the anarchy in Koushi's head and he takes a few deep breaths again, steadying himself. When he no longer feels a pressing need to throw some essentials in a bag and run for the nearest train station, he reaches for the sheets and shuffles down underneath, tugging them up to cover both himself and Kageyama.

"Koushi—?"

"Come here," Koushi murmurs, reaching out for him in the darkness. 

Reluctantly, Kageyama shuffles closer and they curl in together, Koushi tugging the sheets to blot out all the light. Still some filters through the sheets, but only enough to make out shapes. Their breath makes the air hot and close, and Koushi tries to remind himself that he loves this, that being near Kageyama makes him feel like he's on fire, in a _good_ way.

"Tobio," he murmurs, reaching out and catching his fingers on Kageyama's jaw. "Tell me again what you meant."

Kageyama sighs, but tips his head into Koushi's touch. "Just what I said. I—wanna be with you, whatever way you want."

Koushi nods, and takes a steadying breath. "So...you don't want to get married?"

"Only if you do."

"And...if I never want that?"

"It doesn't matter," Kageyama says, and reaches up to cup his face in both hands. "I—I love you, Koushi. That's all I care about." 

Koushi nods, his smile turning wobbly. "Okay."

"Stop freaking out."

Koushi's laughter is wet and a little pathetic. "Okay." He takes a shuddering breath and wraps one of his hands around Kageyama's wrist. "Sorry. I love you too."

"I know that," Kageyama says bluntly, and leans in to kiss him. "I told you, you worry too much."

"Yeah," Koushi says, pressing closer. "Maybe."

Kageyama kisses Koushi's cheek and forehead, then nuzzles into the curve of his neck. The air is hot around them and Koushi can hardly breathe, but for the moment he doesn't care. He tucks his face into Kageyama's shoulder and hugs him tightly, until his arms start to ache. He may be scared and stupid, but more than anything, he can't quite believe his luck.

**Author's Note:**

> [tumblr](https://notallballs.tumblr.com/) | [twitter](https://twitter.com/notallbees) | [my kagesuga fic](http://archiveofourown.org/works?utf8=%E2%9C%93&commit=Sort+and+Filter&work_search%5Bsort_column%5D=revised_at&work_search%5Bcharacter_ids%5D%5B%5D=836530&work_search%5Brelationship_ids%5D%5B%5D=1501660&work_search%5Bother_tag_names%5D=&work_search%5Bquery%5D=&work_search%5Blanguage_id%5D=&work_search%5Bcomplete%5D=0&fandom_id=758208&user_id=notallbees)


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